Could I have done more?

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TwatsBack
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Could I have done more?

Post by TwatsBack » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:37 pm

OK, so, not a football related topic, but one I am pondering more and more these days. I'm not for the knackers yard just yet, but I acknowledge i'm closer to the end than the beginning these days.

whats your regrets? Did you accomplish all you wanted to? Do you wish you had done things differently?

so far, Iv'e had a good life. I've had a few blips and troughs throughout my years and hopefully many more good years to come. However, now i'm over the hill and over half way through, could I have done things differently? Yes probably.

As much as I had a decent upbringing and at least one of my parents was fantastic I do wish he had pushed me a little harder and taught me to dream a little higher. I joined the army and had a pretty explosive ( :) ) lifestyle there. I now have a cracking family, good job, but I do have a few regrets. Job wide, I always regret not getting into the fire service. Family wise, I wish I'd not burdened my wife and family with my "issues"

Do I regret following this damned football club :lol: :lol: no not really. Had times when I seriously questioned my commitment but they were brief.

Did I accomplish all i wanted? Nope, none of it. Mainly due to the fact I never actually got to where I wanted to go so made the best of what I had and built on that really. I do envy some who make their life exactly what they set out to do and get there.

What about yersens?
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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by SaraM » Sat Jun 08, 2019 1:44 pm

Really interesting question, and something I ponder a lot. At 53 I am likewise coming to terms with the fact that most of my dreams will remain unfulfilled.

I think there's a worthwhile lesson in this; life, and our value as humans, does not depend on an accumulation of experiences, much less, things. Finding acceptance of who we are, knowing ourselves truly in all our shortcomings and weaknesses, is much more important than satisfying a ticklist.

So much of what we think we're expected, or want to be, is just crap we've been fed. Life highlights for me are moments of peace and beauty, glimpses into the suchness of existence, sometimes shared, but mostly alone. These are intangible and timeless, but feel like the closest insight into why we are here.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by TwatsBack » Sat Jun 08, 2019 2:43 pm

SaraM wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 1:44 pm
Really interesting question, and something I ponder a lot. At 53 I am likewise coming to terms with the fact that most of my dreams will remain unfulfilled.

I think there's a worthwhile lesson in this; life, and our value as humans, does not depend on an accumulation of experiences, much less, things. Finding acceptance of who we are, knowing ourselves truly in all our shortcomings and weaknesses, is much more important than satisfying a ticklist.

So much of what we think we're expected, or want to be, is just crap we've been fed. Life highlights for me are moments of peace and beauty, glimpses into the suchness of existence, sometimes shared, but mostly alone. These are intangible and timeless, but feel like the closest insight into why we are here.
Lovely. I have to say that over the last few years I have been actively using meditation to combat my "issues" from an extremely violent past. I see Beauty in so many things now. I am content in my life and not really bothered about material objects, unless it's Gin. Mmmm Gin :)

I still wonder if I could have done things differently and better?
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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by faaip » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:10 pm

I did type out a long post but way to depressing to post I'm afraid...Suffice to say I just exist, I do nothing other than work and sleep, type some bullshit on a forum or two, try to avoid watching crap on TV...that's it basically..
GET IN THE BOAT AND ROW

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by Clacton White » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:10 pm

TwatsBack wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:37 pm
OK, so, not a football related topic, but one I am pondering more and more these days. I'm not for the knackers yard just yet, but I acknowledge i'm closer to the end than the beginning these days.

whats your regrets? Did you accomplish all you wanted to? Do you wish you had done things differently?

so far, Iv'e had a good life. I've had a few blips and troughs throughout my years and hopefully many more good years to come. However, now i'm over the hill and over half way through, could I have done things differently? Yes probably.

As much as I had a decent upbringing and at least one of my parents was fantastic I do wish he had pushed me a little harder and taught me to dream a little higher. I joined the army and had a pretty explosive ( :) ) lifestyle there. I now have a cracking family, good job, but I do have a few regrets. Job wide, I always regret not getting into the fire service. Family wise, I wish I'd not burdened my wife and family with my "issues"

Do I regret following this damned football club :lol: :lol: no not really. Had times when I seriously questioned my commitment but they were brief.

Did I accomplish all i wanted? Nope, none of it. Mainly due to the fact I never actually got to where I wanted to go so made the best of what I had and built on that really. I do envy some who make their life exactly what they set out to do and get there.

What about yersens?
Have you been watching 63 up by any chance ?

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by hector » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:12 pm

Clacton White wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:10 pm
Have you been watching 63 up by any chance ?
Nick Hitchin in that is my mate from school, both boarders
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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by Clacton White » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:22 pm

I've got a friend in Brum , a few years ago , a friend of his said to him something along the lines of " you've been a failure in life , what have you done " . Now to me , the only person who can judge a life is yourself , no one else has the right to say you are a failure , especially when I think that other person was purely basing things on money/material wealth . Some people don't have a desire to accumulate that stuff ....to me if you enjoy your life and are happy , regardless f income , then to me that is successful .
I've not gone through life looking for wealth , just enjoying it , didn't have kids as I want to enjoy life and to me it would have stopped me doing a lot of things I've done . Never wanted kids and it doesn't bother me one bit that I haven't . Girlfriends got two , left home and we are happy as we are ...and at 56 that won't be changing ( other than more cats IF the need/want was there ) .
I was into punk music , still am in fact , have travelled UK and abroad in athletics for many years until injury has hampered me to the extent I don't compete now ( I still do run for leisure ) ......actually much to girlfriends disgust I still listen to punk music , I do disperse it though with some Motorhead . Supported Leeds since 1972 so seen more bad than good . Never new what career I really wanted , so drifted through a few jobs but you just move on from one to another over time .
One ambition right now is to move abroad , don't like the way the UK is going - its dirty and mad , traffic is insane , pollution rampant , housing crazy and the countryside is being destroyed .......countries of choice I'd move to - Croatia , Slovenia or Italy and run a B&B or apartments . Just a dream , hope it might happen someday ( soon ) .
regrets ? ......whats the point , life is what you make it ..

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by TwatsBack » Sat Jun 08, 2019 4:09 pm

Clacton White wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:10 pm
Have you been watching 63 up by any chance ?
No. Iv'e never actually seen that, or the previous ones. I expect there are some real clusterf**ks on there.
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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by TwatsBack » Sat Jun 08, 2019 4:16 pm

faaip wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:10 pm
I did type out a long post but way to depressing to post I'm afraid...Suffice to say I just exist, I do nothing other than work and sleep, type some bullshit on a forum or two, try to avoid watching crap on TV...that's it basically..
Strange thing is, If I were to catalogue my life story it'd be pretty depressing tbh. I've had far more negativity than I care to dwell on. Sadly, it's taken me till practically this age to actually accept who i am and be able to live with it.
Yup, it's me.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by TwatsBack » Sat Jun 08, 2019 4:19 pm

Clacton White wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:22 pm
I've got a friend in Brum , a few years ago , a friend of his said to him something along the lines of " you've been a failure in life , what have you done " . Now to me , the only person who can judge a life is yourself , no one else has the right to say you are a failure , especially when I think that other person was purely basing things on money/material wealth . Some people don't have a desire to accumulate that stuff ....to me if you enjoy your life and are happy , regardless f income , then to me that is successful .
I've not gone through life looking for wealth , just enjoying it , didn't have kids as I want to enjoy life and to me it would have stopped me doing a lot of things I've done . Never wanted kids and it doesn't bother me one bit that I haven't . Girlfriends got two , left home and we are happy as we are ...and at 56 that won't be changing ( other than more cats IF the need/want was there ) .
I was into punk music , still am in fact , have travelled UK and abroad in athletics for many years until injury has hampered me to the extent I don't compete now ( I still do run for leisure ) ......actually much to girlfriends disgust I still listen to punk music , I do disperse it though with some Motorhead . Supported Leeds since 1972 so seen more bad than good . Never new what career I really wanted , so drifted through a few jobs but you just move on from one to another over time .
One ambition right now is to move abroad , don't like the way the UK is going - its dirty and mad , traffic is insane , pollution rampant , housing crazy and the countryside is being destroyed .......countries of choice I'd move to - Croatia , Slovenia or Italy and run a B&B or apartments . Just a dream , hope it might happen someday ( soon ) .
regrets ? ......whats the point , life is what you make it ..
:tup: Good for you.
Yup, it's me.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by SaraM » Sat Jun 08, 2019 4:59 pm

TwatsBack wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 2:43 pm
Lovely. I have to say that over the last few years I have been actively using meditation to combat my "issues" from an extremely violent past. I see Beauty in so many things now. I am content in my life and not really bothered about material objects, unless it's Gin. Mmmm Gin :)

I still wonder if I could have done things differently and better?
I've spent the last forty or so years studying philosophy, spirituality and psychology, as well as art, literature and music. Did it academically too, got various degrees I'll never use, trained in psychoanalysis, all because I wanted to know what the point of life was, after a couple of early bereavements. Upshot is, I've got no answers, except proving the old adage that wisdom is knowing that you do not know.

The one thing at the heart of all of it is stillness, silence, being inwardly at rest, just being in the moment, observing and being conscious of what's in front of you. This is where peace lies, and from this perspective it doesn't matter too much what's going on around you. It's that thing about seeing success and failure, and treating both of those imposters the same.

With hindsight, it's usually the mistakes, the failures and the fck ups that have the most to teach us, and are the most valuable life experience. I sometimes look at people who have got it easy, and everything seems to fall right for them, and think, do you really know who you are, or what you're doing? It's easy to live life through a persona which society approves of and rewards, not so easy to deal with letting go of it all as life inevitably diminishes.

Everything is transient, all of our successes and failures amount to nothing in the end. I tend to flip flop between nihilistic despair and ecstatic release in the face of this. That's why football is such a great mirror of life!

Ultimately though, I have a profound sense that everything is fundamentally ok, based on nothing but those fleeting glimpses of beauty... and gin is good too!

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by hector » Sat Jun 08, 2019 5:11 pm

What is the point of all the life experiences though, because when you die, they go with you.....
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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by SaraM » Sat Jun 08, 2019 6:10 pm

hector wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 5:11 pm
What is the point of all the life experiences though, because when you die, they go with you.....
That is the question, isn't it. I think each person can only work it out for themselves in their own heart.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by rich_leeds64 » Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:59 pm

This is a very good question and one which I’ve asked myself more over the last few years.
I’m always a “glass half full” person and throughout my life I’ve never expected much so anything that has gone well is a great bonus and other things that haven’t gone well aren’t considered a setback but just a hiccup.
I’ve been lucky in that my parents, who are fortunately both still alive, just, never pressured me into doing things and didn’t expect me to be the next prime minister or CEO of a large company. Looking back my dad worked his socks off to provide the best he could for my sister and me and we always had great holidays, I remember going to Ibiza in 1970 long before package holidays were the norm and every year after till I started going with friends.
I’ve kept the same circle of friends from school and added to that through life and never had any fall outs with any of them.
Work wise I left school in 1981 in the height of mass unemployment and riots etc, UB40 released 1 in 10 to reflect the problem, but I still managed to find various “dead end” jobs before joining my current employer in the late 80s where I’ve worked my way up and I’m now more than happy to stay where I am till retirement in the next 6-10 years depending on my circumstances.
Relationship wise I could have done things better. My first few serious ones ended badly mostly down to going and using my weekends to watch Leeds and spending more time with mates getting drunk which ultimately caused break ups and cost me ££ half of house etc but I bounced back each time after being on the breadline for a while. I’m now happily married with a son.
I look at other couples and think “they seem really happy and look like they’ve got it all, big house, flash cars etc” but they probably have debt coming out of their ears and are no happier than anyone else.
All in all I’m happy with how things have gone, I’m 55 in October and luckily I’m fit and well,I can afford to have a couple of nice holidays abroad each year ( which is where I am as I write this)! and a few long weekends in UK. I have a loving family, and to me that’s all that matters, so in answer to the question I probably could have done quite a bit more but I’m more than happy with what I’ve got :)

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by rab_rant » Tue Jun 11, 2019 2:40 am

Take aim, even badly
How to move from being the fool to being a saviour. We refine ourselves through our mistakes. If we are wise we continuously correct our paths to achieve our goals. Mr Peterson says it better.
https://youtu.be/ZwGDnSWmqhM

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by SaraM » Tue Jun 11, 2019 2:20 pm

I'd rather take advice from a dead aphid than Jordan Peterson.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by rab_rant » Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:38 pm

SaraM wrote:I'd rather take advice from a dead aphid than Jordan Peterson.
What? Aphids can speak? AMAZING!!! Hold on even when they are dead? MIRACULOUS!!!

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by SaraM » Tue Jun 11, 2019 11:18 pm

rab_rant wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:38 pm
What? Aphids can speak? AMAZING!!! Hold on even when they are dead? MIRACULOUS!!!

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They have a better understanding of post modernism than Jordan Peterson.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by rab_rant » Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:14 am

SaraM wrote: They have a better understanding of post modernism than Jordan Peterson.

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Well that is easy to understand, aphids completely loose control when Peterson keeps on destroying militant feminism.

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Re: Could I have done more?

Post by SaraM » Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:05 pm

Peterson hasn't 'destroyed' any argument or viewpoint whatsoever. His pretenses to philosophy are laughable; he has no training in this area, and hasn't even read the source material of those he claims to critique. Pure snake oil, I'm afraid.

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