O/T Cats

[becchio bear]

Ok, I got a rescue cat just before Christmas, Lily is her name and she will be 3 in June (apparently). I took her knowing she was an indoor cat, didn't like surprises, scared of the hoover and was shy. Am I expecting too much from her? It's now about 12 weeks in and yes we've made progress in that she no longer hides in her "safe" place between my bed and bedside table, no longer spends prolonged hours in Thomas' underbed drawer and does sit around downstairs or on the stairs observing us from a height. However she doesn't like being picked up, will never sit on my knee and is very handy with her paws and claws!! She draws blood on a regular basis

She does follow me around though, will come to me when I call her name but then swerves away from being stroked. She sits on me in the early hours and purrs and pads, gives quite a nice massage as it happens lol

64 I know you have feline experience, any tips? :

[Cjay]

Have you tried sitting on the floor with her giving her tasty cat treats?

Or holding them in your hand so she can smell them and will probably rub your hand? She will associate you with treats.

Get used to coming to you in case she gets a treat and may allow you to stroke her while you give her treats, in time she will come to you anyways and will associate you with nice things, if she gets treats downstairs she will associate downstairs with good things etc.

I do have a cat, had a few, kittens are always nervous so just using that as a basis

[lufc1304]

If she's 3, Ang, then that's a fair amount of 'learned' behaviour she has to unlearn. I suspect from what you've said that she may have been mistreated before and is very slowly taking time to trust you. Do you stare at her when you're calling her etc? Cats hate to be stared at. A cat will go to the one non-cat person in a room because you can be sure that's the one person who isn't looking at him/her! I don't mean ignore her, just let her come to you. you'll be watching telly some evening and she'll surprise you by climbing up on your lap. No concidence that shes kneading you, as a kitten would her mother, in the early hours when you are, presumably, asleep and wholly unthreatening to her. Give her time, she'll come around. Just don't expect the same level of devotion you would get from a dog, cats just use you to get what they want! And thats from someone who loves them!!

[gessa]

Some friends of ours did the same thing and had the same problems, used to hide on the top of the wardrobe, very nervous. It was suggested they got another Cat, slowly introduce it and make a fuss of that one, which should lure the other one in. All that happened was the new Cat followed the behaviour of the elder one, so they had 2 Cats they couldn't really say were pets, it never got any better.

[becchio bear]

I have given her treats cjay which she has accepted gratefully, she also loves cat milk. It's as if she thinks I'm 2 people, a day person and an early hours person. In the early hours when she's woken me up in bed I can stroke her anywhere, she rubs her head against my hands and seems really affectionate and then when daylight comes she turns into a wild cat

[becchio bear]

If she's 3, Ang, then that's a fair amount of 'learned' behaviour she has to unlearn. I suspect from what you've said that she may have been mistreated before and is very slowly taking time to trust you. Do you stare at her when you're calling her etc? Cats hate to be stared at. A cat will go to the one non-cat person in a room because you can be sure that's the one person who isn't looking at him/her! I don't mean ignore her, just let her come to you. you'll be watching telly some evening and she'll surprise you by climbing up on your lap. No concidence that shes kneading you, as a kitten would her mother, in the early hours when you are, presumably, asleep and wholly unthreatening to her. Give her time, she'll come around. Just don't expect the same level of devotion you would get from a dog, cats just use you to get what they want! And thats from someone who loves them!!

No Nick I don't stare at her. I read up on this and found that staring at them makes them think you are being aggressive. I keep reading what Jackson Galaxy has to say and he said to blink slowly at them and bow (yes I know that sounds silly but I keep trying it!) he says that blinking slowly is cat language for saying I love you and if they blink back it means it's reciprocal. She will do it back now and then but most of the time just gives me a withering stink eye and then looks away She refused to let me anywhere near her with a brush until last week when I bought a new implement which I think is called a fur gatherer. I am now allowed to groom her which is good as she is one hairy beast

[becchio bear]

Some friends of ours did the same thing and had the same problems, used to hide on the top of the wardrobe, very nervous. It was suggested they got another Cat, slowly introduce it and make a fuss of that one, which should lure the other one in. All that happened was the new Cat followed the behaviour of the elder one, so they had 2 Cats they couldn't really say were pets, it never got any better.

I have been intending to get a second cat as I thought it would be company for Lily during the day when i'm at work. I bought a cushion from Asda which featured a cat and whilst she was chilling on Thomas' bed with him actually allowing him to stroke her, Alf decided to approach her with said cushion. She jumped up, hissed and spat and threw herself off the bed knocking everything off his bedside table!! Now i'm not so sure....

[Cjay]

I have given her treats cjay which she has accepted gratefully, she also loves cat milk. It's as if she thinks I'm 2 people, a day person and an early hours person. In the early hours when she's woken me up in bed I can stroke her anywhere, she rubs her head against my hands and seems really affectionate and then when daylight comes she turns into a wild cat

Just keep trying, and hope she gets better

My aunt had a rescue cat and he never really improved.

We had kittens that were born in the wild and the one we have left is the friendliest cat ever. More obedient then the dog, call her she comes running, shes never bitten or scratched a person, even playing she would pat you with her paw, no claws

She is also the exception to the staring back rule, she doesnt care, she stares back, and then comes over to be stroked

Depends on the cat, but in time hopefully she will become the early hours cat all the time.

[lufc1304]

The blinking thing is true, Ang, and that's a good sign. As is the tolerance of a brush, never met a cat who liked that. At least initially. She's coming round to you, it'll just take time. Worth the effort, though, as there's little as relaxing as lying with a cat in your lap, listening to it purr as you rub behind its ears (particularly sensitive spot they love to have rubbed)

[gessa]

I have been intending to get a second cat as I thought it would be company for Lily during the day when i'm at work. I bought a cushion from Asda which featured a cat and whilst she was chilling on Thomas' bed with him actually allowing him to stroke her, Alf decided to approach her with said cushion. She jumped up, hissed and spat and threw herself off the bed knocking everything off his bedside table!! Now i'm not so sure....

TBF, what you've said since your first post, yours seems a lot more approachable than theirs, they couldn't get to within 6 ft of her, the younger one would occasionally have a fuss but only now and again and not for a long time.

[gessa]

The blinking thing is true, Ang, and that's a good sign. As is the tolerance of a brush, never met a cat who liked that. At least initially. She's coming round to you, it'll just take time. Worth the effort, though, as there's little as relaxing as lying with a cat in your lap, listening to it purr as you rub behind its ears (particularly sensitive spot they love to have rubbed)

Didn't realise you were such a big pussy lover Nick.

[lufc1304]

Didn't realise you were such a big pussy lover Nick.

I'm a regular patron of the Titty Twister, Ges!!!

[gessa]

I'm a regular patron of the Titty Twister, Ges!!!

I had to look that up.

[Mrs64]

I think you are doing the right things Ang but it will take time & patience

Casper found us five years ago & for a year or he was a very scary cat. We won him round by allowing him come to us by the showing the back of your hand & letting him rub & nut his face scent around our hand, please don't use an open hand as it appears as a threat to them. He does the routine most evenings.
The way to a cats heart is his stomach & what Cjay suggests is correct, offering him a treat & gently stroking him but never stroke him on his tummy as that is the vulnerable part with most cats.
It took us a long time before we could pick Casper up, now he has cuddles every day although being short & sweet before he starts to wriggle, he has learned having a cuddle is a way to food as he runs straight to his food dish as soon as we put him down.
Leon taught him to give us fur-boot cuddles by allowing him to nut my hand & saying the word fur-boots & putting his scented hand towards his foot.....now he falls on our feet at will whilst we are reading or watching telly
Blinking at Lily regularly & you'll find in time she'll respond blinking back to you, this is called sending kissing to each other
Does Lily play with toys Ang ? cats generally like a cardboard box, our other cats loved boxes especially if they had holes in them where you could wiggle a toy or a piece of string through the box, please don't leave string/ribbon around when play stops as a cat could easily get tangled up & panic

It will take time but Lily will come round once you have gained her trust. Casper has gone from being a dishevelled ragbag who responded to no one & knew nothing to a handsome loving boy whom enjoys our company communicating with us in some many ways, he is very habitual as cats are & in time you will find Lily developes a character of her own

Hope this information is useful for you Ang

[1964white]

Look how relaxed our big boy is

Who's gonna feed me now ?

Screenshot 2018-03-13 at 23.10.16.png (576.76 KiB) Viewed 7036 times

[faaip]

Open mouth like a yawn helps if a cat is looking suspiciously at you, cat language for I'm no threat.

Back of the hand as some have said and let that get nuzzled, and patience of course. Some cats are never lap cats, so don't worry about that. Talking to her will help to put her at ease

The vet can help if you don't mind the cost. Feliway is supposed to de-stress a cat but we've never tried it so don't take my word for it. Think there are others. If you have to handle her I'd suggest a towel, wrap her in it if she scratches when being picked up

We had a feral cat once we eventually managed to tame but it took a while and our last cat Seven took two years before finally complete vacated the dark comfortable bolt hole we created for her

[weasel]

Sounds like you are making progress anyway from what you have said and I would suggest just to keep going as you are rather than trying too much. I have always had cats and had a brother and sister that were frightened of their own shadows but that is just how some cats are. Once they got used to us they were really great cats, loads of love from them etc but even when they were a few years old they were still frightened of strangers and when we looked after a tiny kitten one weekend they spent the weekend sat on top of the kitchen cupboards whilst the kitten had the run of the house.

Currently we have a great cat that we found in Spain. It had we presumed been dumped and came accross it one night driving home as it ran across our track (we lived in the middle of nowhere, no neighbours just almond and olive trees for miles around) with one of its front legs caught in its collar it had obviously been that way for a while as it had rubbed all the fur off. Managed to coax it to me and we took him home and fed him etc. When we let it out we expected him to run away but he kept coming back and when we came back to England we brought him with us. He did run off when we stopped for a toilet break in France but thankfully after legging it he stopped and allowed me to pick him up. Great cat now and really affectionate.

Cats though are very independent little b*ggers though!

Speaking off cats my little girl likes your cat photo Leon that you use as your avatar and is always going 'cat, cat' when I am reading one of your posts!

[hector]

On my hard drive I have every episode of Jackson's "my cat from hell" 8gb worth of moggies. If some tech savy people (I can just about switch my computer on) can let me know how to send all this through the ether for free, I will send you them all... Alternatively I could work out how to burn them on to a data dvd or 2 and you send my an address I can post them to, and you can watch them all on your computer... Seems at first look that you need to "catify" your room, by putting a circuit of high shelves round it, so that moggy can get round safely and sit safely at high level, that will stop it from hiding in the bedrooms...

I await further instructions maam....

[lufc1304]

I had to look that up.

Surprised at that, mate, you not a Tarantino fan?

[hector]

I did like the dancer.... had to watch it multiple times, because I was sure I missed a bit at some point.... In fact................................


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