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It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'
'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent and a thoroughly educated bird'
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks. 'Then answer this how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my willy around this
wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and can speak English can't you?'
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on
almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks at the £200 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have
any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer!'
The guy offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal,
he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him
over with one wing.
'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.'
'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
'THEN what happened?'
'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her
all over,' reported the parrot.
'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him?'
'Yes...Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
'DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch!'