No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

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hector
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No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by hector » Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:47 am

As most of you on here know, I live in the middle of nowhere in a 2000 acre wood, at the edge of a farm estate....

You may also know that I am early to bed and early to rise..

Well last night (or to be more preceise early (even for me) O'Clock this morning) Mrs H punches me in the ribs and says....

"oy Hector, there is a rat in the room" :shock: :shock:
Well out here the rats are almost the size of cats, so I immediately woke up and tuned in my radar lugs...

Sure enough I could hear a shuffling over her side of the bed, and as it was her side of the bed I thought if it decides to explore then she will feel it first so I can drop off for a bit longer, so I says to her
"don't worry pet, it will stay in the shadows,go back to sleep" ;-)

But Mrs H being wise to my ways said
"get up you lazy twunt and find it" :x

What the hell was I supposed to do? so I looked down to under the dressing table where she claimed the noise came from and sure enough there was movement... so I switched on the light had a good look, and pulled out all her handbags etc from the corner. Nothing more to be seen, so I popped down to the kitchen and got my small torch and promptly went back to bed, we had to read for a while, up until 0200 and then decided to try and fall asleep again...

So the lights went off, and ............ there was the noise again, only horror of horrors it was at MY side of the bed.... This meant immediate action was needed, so I quickly switched on the torch, and low and behold a brown shape moved down past the wardrobe and to the chest of drawers near my bedside table.;.... :o :shock: :shock:

this was far too close for comfort, these rats are huge..... so on went the big light, and with torch in hand to shine down the back of the drawers I bravely went...

There at the back of the drawers I saw this large brown animal move.. but the gait was not rat like at all.... It was moving far to slowly...

I managed to block its movement and there in the torch light under my bedside chair hiding between my briefcase and the metal portable file holder was the beast.....

A young rabbit !!! :shhh:

Mrs H promptly went into soppy female mode and said
"aahhhh don't hurt it" :roll:

"WHAT???" after all this fuss the least it can do is present itself on my plate tonight as dinner, but oh no...

I had to get some carrots and feed the little bugger so that it would not die of starvation, and now today I have to drive all the way to Portsmouth for work, and when I get back I have to dismantle all the large wardrobe units to rescue the little blighter and set it free into the woods, and then to see if I can find out where it got in.... then block it off, and then put the units back together again....

Can I rejoin the army?? life was a lot more peacful in those days :roll:
:tup: “And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.” :wink:

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by gessa » Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:28 am

Sounds as though it caught you on the hop.




Groan

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by Ratscoot » Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:56 am

gessa wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:28 am
Sounds as though it caught you on the hop.




Groan
:lol: :lol:
A bumble bee under the laws of physics shouldnt be able to fly, but it does because no one has told it that it can't

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hector
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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by hector » Wed Sep 19, 2018 7:00 am

gessa wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:28 am
Sounds as though it caught you on the hop.




Groan
Get yer coat Gessa :)
:tup: “And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.” :wink:

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by Muppet the Cat » Wed Sep 19, 2018 7:24 am

A Rabbit :shock:

I'll tell my daughter that story Hector, given her pathetic screams from the bathroom last night...…..SPIDER, and it's "MASSIVE"

It wasn't, but she wouldn't go back in until it had been removed from the shower.

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by hector » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:01 am

Because we have a 3 month old puppy, we leave the front door open all day and evening whilst we are in, and even when we go away to walk the dogs for 45 mins during the afternoon.

We think it snuck in whilst the door was open and saw the dark room at the end of the hall (our bedroom) popped in there adn fell asleep, and then hid whenever there was movement...

I shall lay a carrot trial today and lure it out into the front garden, and do my best not to think of Monty Python and the Holy grail....
:tup: “And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.” :wink:

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by faaip » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:32 am

Image
"Stepping out to Angellucci's for my coffee beans
Checking out the movies and the magazines
Waitress she watches me crossing from the Barocco Bar"

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by faaip » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:36 am

Image
"Stepping out to Angellucci's for my coffee beans
Checking out the movies and the magazines
Waitress she watches me crossing from the Barocco Bar"

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by Dalton » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:46 am

You've got more rabbit than sainsburys!
My my my, such a lot of guns around town and so few brains

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gessa
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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by gessa » Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:47 pm

I take it this rabbit was the furry not the buzzing kind.

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by Dalton » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:13 pm

No that would give Mrs H an even bigger fright
My my my, such a lot of guns around town and so few brains

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hector
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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by hector » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:39 pm

wabbit.jpg
wabbit.jpg (43.25 KiB) Viewed 641 times
:tup: “And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.” :wink:

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by faaip » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:42 pm

Perhaps we could get a running commentary from Mrs H ....

Final Score prediction though would be Hector 0 Rabbit 1..
"Stepping out to Angellucci's for my coffee beans
Checking out the movies and the magazines
Waitress she watches me crossing from the Barocco Bar"

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story)

Post by whiteswan » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:02 pm

Poor old hector :rol:
I'd love to buy the baby bunny a bag of carrots for giving you the run around....and getting the better of you :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by hector » Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:04 pm

Well.....

the little bugger eluded us all day long, and seemed to take up residence under the bed..
At this point I should mention that the bed is electric and raises both head and feet and is bloody heavy, any attempt to raise the bed and reach in was met with further cowering into the dark unreachable areas... :x

time for a new strategy......
I places a thick shopping bag on the floor with some carrot pieces inside, and thought I would sit on the bed and wait for the litttle bugger to get hungry scoop up the bag and Robert is a relative....

Why did Peter (yes Mrs H named him :roll: ) not read the script??

I sat on the bed ( now bear in mind I have sat in foxholes in the middle of nowhwere for days at a time observing things) and watched... and watched and watched.... 50 mins later the carrot was gone, and the little blighter had done his "business" in the bag..

Now I hear you say " Why was it 50 mins later and did you not see him?" well.... due to the lack of sleep the night before... I dozed off :oops:

Then the puppy started banging at the door and any chance of repeating the process was well and truly out the widnow, along with the wee and poo ridden bag....

New plan... wait until bed time, then repeat but with a firm box and a bird net from the aviary...

So 2130 a bit later than usual, (I had a nap in the afternoon ) we trotted off to bed... me armed with large blue net and a box of freshly cut carrots...

So I lay on top of the bed and waited..... and waited ... and waited.. Mrs H dug me in the ribs and said " I hear movement" which promptly sent the little bugger scampering away.... I had heard him, but was waiting for him to actually go into the box..

Eventually the lure of fresh carrots was too much, and whoopee got the barsteward.........

right I says that is dinner sorted for tomorrow..... no it wasn't
with a flea in my ear I shuffled out the front door, and accross the parking area to the woods and released the lovely little chap back into the depths of his homeland...


But today apparently whilst I was out at work Mrs H saw a young rabbit trotting about at the edge of the woods and she whistfully thought Peter had come to say thank you..
I say he was just jeering at us.....
:tup: “And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.” :wink:

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by lufc1304 » Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:51 pm

Brilliant, Hector, thread of the year so far! I love the fact that whilst you were sleeping on stag (glasshouse for you!), the cheeky wee fecker nabbed the carrot AND took a sh*t in the bag you planned on capturing him in!! :lol: :lol:
"When the going gets weird, the weird get professional!" Hunter S Thompson

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by Norm » Thu Sep 20, 2018 3:01 pm

10/10 for ingenuity - the bloody thing kept ME awake.

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by Norm » Thu Sep 20, 2018 3:04 pm

Just for s&g, on telly there's a panel of medical experts discussing a book called "Does it fart" and there's much merriment and suppression of sniggers.
After Hector's troubling issues you couldn't make it up

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by whiteswan » Fri Sep 21, 2018 7:00 pm

I just loved reading that hector. Such a clever little bunny to pinch the carrot and piddle and poo in your shopping bag whilst you were nodding off :lol: He deserves 2 bags of carrots now :)

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Re: No sleep last night ( a true story) Update

Post by Azkalwhite » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:03 am

It appears Hector's nemesis is running at Leicester today in the 3.30 7f race....Pesky Wabbitt....

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